I have been asked on different occasions over the past year what my thoughts were on how this election cycle was playing out. I often find it useful to think about an individual action or event that can represent the bigger picture.
It is a well-documented phenomenon for domestic abuse victims, that one of if not the most dangerous moment, is when the abuser finds out she’s leaving. The abuser has constructed an elaborate fantasy based on unreal expectations of the perfect relationship. In in his alternative reality he is the perfect partner. He is able to rationalize all the abuse by pointing to her shortcomings, her failings. His fantasy is built on how powerful he is and how powerless she is. He has convinced her that she is worthless, undesirable and the only through his magnanimous grace does she have a place to be. When she asserts her power and efficacy over her own self and makes the choice to leave, this disrupts the fantasy. And he will do anything to maintain this fantasy including killing her. This risk increases exponentially if she is taking children especially if it’s a son. In his eyes, she is stealing his property.
Now imagine a segment of our population, largely white man over the age of 50 doing this as a collective group.
They live in the fantasy that as a white person they are by definition better, smarter and entitled to the privileges they enjoy. This fantasy took a hit when a black man was elected president. For the hard-core racist this was unforgivable. But for many man they could overlook his skin color because a least it is a man. As the nomination of a woman to run for President of the United States came closer and closer to reality they turned to someone to be their standard bearer, a living embodiment of their fantasy world. An older white man who uses and discards women as he sees fits the man, whose money allows them him to do and live their ultimate fantasy. I do not know the literally truth but I know they admire him under the belief that he raped his wife, had affairs when ever he wanted and when women no longer serve his needs he discarded them. These people would rather destroy this country and everything it stands for then have this fantasy end.
The most important point however when we condemn the actions of those who cross the line is to recognize that this would not continue without a base of Supporting players. These players include:
Every man who had did not have an affirmative consent and had sex with a woman anyway, because she ‘wanted it’. (That by the way is rape.)
Every person who told a woman she was ruining a man’s life when she reported her sexually assaulted or rape.
Every man who was verbally or physical abusive to a woman for not wanting to talk to him or give him her phone number.
Every man who thinks a woman is incapable of making her own reproductive choices.
Every employer who pays women less just for being woman.
Every employer who privileges hiring a man over a woman.
Every man who expected a woman to play dumb so he didn’t look bad.
Every man who told a woman that his career was more important than her job.
And last and most importantly every person who was silent when any of these things happened you are the building blocks that Donald Trump stands on.
Barbara Nelson, North County Democratic Activist
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